Sun-drenched self-reflection

     One of the things that has surprised me about this job is how much I am growing and changing in it. I realize this seems like a particularly obvious thing to forget about. But, honestly, I came in with such a vision for the campus and students that it sort of slipped my mind how much God would simultaneously be working through and in me. If I had to pin a number to it, I would estimate that both things are happening equally, each about 50% of the time.

     Some weeks, I feel insanely selfish about it.

     I come from a particularly production-based background. Growing up, if you could check everything off your "to-do" list by sunset, you had done well. Long, sunny, wind-less days were considered better than others simply because you could accomplish more in good weather than you could when it was raining. This was a perfectly natural, and often necessary, way of life for a farmer and his family. Until now, I had not quite come to grips with how much that concept has bled into my life.
 
     Now, on the days when God is doing more in than through me, I get much less done, practically speaking. I meet with fewer people. I plan fewer events. I spend more time in thought than in action. And therefore cannot claim to have accomplished nearly as much. It drives me up a wall. I prepare myself for sleep at the end of the day and think to myself: "why didn't I get that newsletter finished today?" "I should have done more to prepare for tomorrow's Bible study." The list is endless, and my conscience fills with guilt.

     The result is that if I try to stack every day with tasks, even meaningful ones, I eventually run myself emotionally dry.  Sure, I met with 4 girls; but I only remember 1/3 of what was said by all of them. Yes, I've done the reading required for our weekly Bible study; but I've taken absolutely no time to let the words sink into my heart.

     I have never understood the meaning behind the story of Mary and Martha so plainly in my life. Practically speaking, Martha certainly executed more tasks than her sister. And yet, Mary was entirely content to simply sit at the feet of the Lord. Stillness was her utmost productivity, and Jesus delighted in it.

You know you're an extrovert when... (a recap of the last 3.5 months on staff)

       Anyone who has ever been around Christian ministry for any extended period of time should be familiar with the "Meyer's Briggs" personality test. While I am quite outspoken about my disdain for the test and it's tendency to turn a pleasant conversation amongst friends into a 3 hour debate about whether or not someone is a "T," I do think it has me pegged in one of it's four categories. To give you a tiny bit of background, each category is based on a scale between two opposite poles, and people generally fall somewhere on the scale so that their personality is comprised of some parts of each end, and not wholly one or the other.

        Fortunately for me, I am the exception to this rule. In the first test category, people can either be more "Introverted" ( "I" ), or Extroverted ( "E" ). If being in ministry has taught me nothing else, it has assured me of this: I am an "E." Fully, and blatantly. I'm not sure if there is a kind of x-ray that will test this sort of thing, but I don't think there is an introverted bone in my body. In fact, most days, I feel so far down the scale towards "E" that I can't turn around and see "I" with a telescope. All of this to say, I greatly enjoy being around people. The thought of having to be isolated for any extended period of time outside of sleeping for 6 hours every night is downright nerve wrecking.

       The above prelude should help explain two things. One: why I haven't updated this blog in so long. I'm not sure why I figured I'd have the patience to sit down once a month and recap everything going on without getting anxious about the stuff I'd be missing while I did it. Somehow, I thought it would be productive to have this line of communication between myself and the people who want to know how things at PSU are going. But honestly, I'm just as bad at this as I am at being a pen pal. Two: an outline of the things that have been going on in my life at PSU and elsewhere over the last 3 months, from the eyes of an extrovert. So, without further adieu, the highlights of my extroverted lifestyle since September.

• October- PSU Navs traveled to Wellsboro, PA for our annual Fall retreat. Approximately 190 people attended, including students and staff. The speaker was incredible, the music was rockin', and the relationship building was off the hooooook. Although organizing the ride list took me 5 days, and years off my life, it was worth it to see everyone in fellowship, reading the Word and worshiping together.
• November- Attended the National conference in Louisville, KY. There were 1400 other Navs staff in attendance at this once-every-four-years event. Myself, and fellow EDGE'rs from around the country spent 7 days in non-stop seminars and meetings, listening to speakers, and having not one, but two, fantastic dance parties. It was phenomenally refreshing to see everyone from the EDGE class and to hear about how God is moving nationwide. Plus- it was entirely impossible not to be around a minimum of 30 people the entire week. I could not have been happier.
• December-  Sorted through and packed up all my possessions and simultaneously moved out of the house I grew up in as well as the house I had been living in in State College. For at least 4 weeks, if not longer, every single thing I own was either in a bag, a box, or a suitcase, in 4 different houses in 2 different states. I'm not sure what this has to do with extroversion, as much as it has to do with the ability to be insanely spontaneous, but I'm pretty sure they are somehow related. I also officially became a resident of Pennsylvania.
• January- Thus far this month, I have moved into a new house in downtown State College. The move has provided me with 2 lovely new roommates, an awesome kitchen, and the return of a semi-permanent address. I expect the new space to allow for a continuous flow of visitors as well as some ridiculously themed parties. An extroverts dream.

   And so, that is the quarter-year in review. I'd love to sign off by telling you that I'll be writing again soon... but, we all know that's impossible. Till next time!

                                                                                                           Kaitlin Sickle

For a more thorough explanation of my arch enemy, the Myers-Briggs test, check the link below:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator